I woke up remembering today would have been Jays' 84th Birthday. It would not do to forget such an important day. I went out and put up our flag so it could wave, and picked out a red, white and blue dress to wear for the occasion. Looking patriotic seemed the right thing to do! Not necessary to announce the fact, just go about quietly in whatever the day requires and keep the thought in my mind. So, here I am.
Amazing how the mind works, and what memories it conjures up on such occasions. I don't recall all the years of waining health, or those last days when I was helpless to make things better or to go away. No, just those great memories of all the great times we had together, and how much we enjoyed the family. Not to mention the excitement of meeting and getting to know each other enough to think we could be permanent in our relationship.
You know Jay was never a 'chatty' person, so I rarely ever heard from him how he felt, or what he wanted to do the most. Only rarely did he say something profound, and then it was usually about something that I could not do anything about. Like a week before Dawn was born he told me how much he wanted a 'girl'. Not that I could have done anything about it then, but I certainly would have made a greater plea to the powers above to lean us in that direction. As it turned out, that went to his total satisfaction, not to mention my own joy, and relief that his great desire had 'come to pass'.
He wasn't much for celebrating Birthdays, his or anyones, for that matter. I think he enjoyed the fuss we made over his, but he certainly was not the type to let you know he had been pleased by all the attention he received. I know he worried over everyone elses Birthday however. It was always such a chore for him to shop, or come up with ideas of what might be really super for someone elses Celebration. He rarely forgot the date, but would struggle with making it special for someone else.
Well that is the past. This is the present, and we only have thoughts to give today. No packages wrapped with bright paper and bows. Nothing to wear, eat or use. Which, in no way, means we don't have him in our thoughts, or don't recall the many things he ment to each of us as this day slowly comes and goes. I believe it would be improper however to just let it slip away without even the tiniest brush of sentiment. The love is never gone, the sweet memories are not forgotten, and the bright thoughts of the future, for me, sooner than later are warm and tender indeed! How blessed as a family are we to have such a great, sweet, and loving Dad, Grand Dad and 'Daddy'. He will always be 'Daddy' to me. I don't know that the family was ever aware of the many times when I was really down and felling low he would meet my request for him to 'rock me'. He did without comment, just let me crawl up in his lap, lay my head on his shoulder and cuddle in for a few minutes while he rocked the old rocker to and fro. It wasn't often, but it certainly was choice! Yes, sweet memories. I cherish everyone - today, and everyday.
Written this 26th day of September 2010
by: Eileen C. Rosenberg
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