This section is really part of the one we just left, but the thoughts did not advance in my memory at that writting so that they could be included. Just as well, there is something I feel should be incerted here to add to what will follow: so here goes!
As a parent, I was a pretty strict item. Very closely guarded who the kids kept as friends, and pretty on top of who they were with, or so I thought, and what they were doing, which I learned later was not always the case. I guess all parents live to discover some of this - be prepared!
In our neighborhood Paul was blessed with having a number of boys near his age with whom he could spend a great deal of time. It was not until he got his 10 speed bike that we started having to monitor those who wanted to draw Paul into 'their circle'. Now one of the faults we noticed during this space of time - ages 10 to about 16 - was Paul was a 'follower' and not the 'leader' we had hoped him to be. If this came from his cheery nature and quick wit, I cannot tell - it was just the way it was. Again as I look back, it could have been that he was eager to be with the 'bigger boys'. You see Paul never did gain a lot of height during this time, well not ever really!
Our home was one of a tract of homes that was built in what had been originally one of the beautiful Orange Groves that use to fill a goodly portion of Southern California. Our lot only had one pretty sorry speciman, which was taken out when we added the garage, but that is in another Blog, and need not be mentioned further here. The only reason I do bring it up at all is to relate one particular incident when Paul was I think 9 or 10. He and his neighbor buddies spent a good deal of time in the trees at the various homes. Next door to us lived the Parks on one side and the McGees on the other. This particular occurance took place in the Avacado Tree in the Parks back yard. It was quite a big tree so that all the boys could find a perch while they filled their fanciful dreams. This day, I don't recall what they were imagening - they decided to add tossing an Avacado back and forth. When of a sudden there was a loud scream and Paul came bounding out of the tree and over into our yard holding his hand and shaking violently. When I came to the door to see what the trouble was he could'nt talk, just held his hand up for me to see. At first it was difficult to know what the trouble was, no blood, and no swelling. Then I noticed what he was unable to articulate - there was a portion of an Avacado skin wedged under one of his fingernails. I quickly put him the car and took him to the Dr. (Back then we didn't go to the emergency room at the hospital like they do today.) The fingernail and the Avacado skin were both removed. Paul had a very sore finger for quite awhile following this brief encounter.
There was another incident, which happened I believe it was the Friday before he was to be ordained a Deacon. Incidently it was his birthday as well. Before I had left for work and the kids were leaving for school, Paul asked if he could go bike riding with some of the boys. I inquired who the 'boys' might be. When I learned their names, I forbid him to go with them. His bike had been a Christmas present to help him earn his distance riding Badge for his Scouting. The boys he named did not have the best of reputations for being the sort I wanted Paul to associate with. Their were others he had been doing some distant riding with that we approved of. Well, you can guess I suppose. When he got together with the 'boys' at school, they encouraged him to tag along, I would never know because he would be home before I got back from work. In fact I had mentioned I would be a bit late because I had ordered a special Birthday Cake for our evening meal. Taking a longer route home to pick the Cake up would make me about a half hour late. Jay was home long before I was, but the kids always knew their Dad was not as hard to please as Mom, so that would be O.K. (Or so the thought went.)
When Jay got home the neighbors who kept an eye out for the kids until either one of us got home came and told Jay that he would need to go to the local Police Station, they were holding Paul and some other boys until their parents got home. Jay hastily made the trip down to the Police Station to see what the problem could be. Upon arriving he found the boys all huddled in one of the offices looking pretty grim as you may well imagine. Out poured the sad tale. They had been riding along the railroad tracks, which everyone knows is Railroad Property and is posted as a 'do not traspass zone'. The boys assured Jay they were not 'doing anything but riding'. HOWEVER there was a Railroad Detective in that area that day inspecting things and arrested the boys. He called ahead to see if there was any problem with the train that had just passed. He was informed there were a number of broken windows - Ah HA - those boys had been throwing stones at the train. They denied this, but to no avail.
Each boy had to post I believe it was something like $60.00 to be released. This to repair the damage to the train. Jay wrote a check for Pauls portion of the fine, and he brought Paul home. Now - we wait until
MOM comes! Ulck!
I got home about a half hour after Jay and Paul got there. It was all over the neighborhood of course, and kids were standing in the street, yards, etc. I don't know if they thought there would be an earthquake when I heard the news or what, but they were expecting something rather exciting. I put the cake on the table and stood to hear the bad news. All the while Paul sat in a chair with his head lowered and afraid of what the outcome of this breech would bring his way. I listened quietly and with a great deal more calm than I felt inside. After Jay had finished his part of the affair, I turned to Paul and asked what he had to say for himself on the subject. He apologized and in hind sight realized just why I had told him not to go. I quietly said, then that is that, I hope you have learned a lesson from all of this. It kind of puts a damper on your Birthday, but here is your Cake and I will get dinner finished so we can eat. The meal was pretty quiet. Dawn shooting glances first at one and then another of those seated at the Table. Very little was said. The table was cleared while Paul remained seated and I got the dishes washed. Finally he had to know: "what are you going to do to me MOM?" I asked him: "what have you been doing all this time - since you were hauled into the police station waiting for you Dad and then brought home to wait for me?" Of course he replied: "worring about what you would do!" I said: "then I think you have been punished enough - go do your homework - we will not talk about this again. I don't recall Paul being with those boys again, or giving us any such problem after that. Or at least not to my recollection that is.
That of course was not the end of Paul chosing friends that were far beneath those he should have associated with. I won't go into any others, but upon talking to him these past few years he confessed he had not had the best idea of what friends should be. Among those he really learned to appreciate were some with whom he rode his Harley. They seemed to have had a great deal of their own problems and valued a true friend enough to be careful in their associations. Paul seemed to have learned how to pick friends more worthy of his friendship when he got older. Possibly because he no longer needed to 'match up'. What ever the case, he had a great many worthy friends in his later life, and even gleaned a number much younger than himself, who cherished his friendship, and I believe that is the greatest compliment I can leave for this portion of my writing.
So until the next section - keep tuned in!
Writting this 5th day of March 2011
by: Eileen Rosenberg
No comments:
Post a Comment