I just came in from watering - it is Wednesday and one of the only three days each week we can do that now that we are trying to conserve our water supply. While throwing the water around the yard, I couldn't help but remember our neighbor from Pico Rivera. He use to come home from work each night, go to the fridge get a beer and then proceed to come to the front yard, light a cigarett, turn on the hose, hunker down and proceed to water his diacondra lawn - his pride and joy. No one ever wondered where Floyd was, he was visible, with hose in hand along with his beer and cigarett. I suppose he would spend better than a half hour out there doing the same thing every night of the week.
Floyd had been one of the US Army Soldiers that landed on D-Day and who for some reason returned with a very sour attitude on almost everything. He had a lovely family, but he still seemed quite detatched from the rest of the world. He had, I supose made himself a promise while going through those horrible times, after 1975 that he would do just what ever he wanted, when ever he wanted and in the way he wanted. And so he did.
As I thought back over the years we lived next to Floyd and Shirley I was always saddened that their children were never priority in the home. Oh, they were feed and clothed. That was never any problem. They had their own bedrooms and the things that kids normally have, but when it came to the real family things, they were some how lacking. I guess the reason this has come to mind is the way we were, Jay and I, with our kids. Same gender, just a bit different in ages. Every year Jay would plan his vacations so we could have a great time. He first got the pick-up, then the camper and finally the boat. We would load up and go to the Colorado River to Water Ski and camp. Fun for the whole family. While our next door neighbors would load up, go to Mexico where Floyd would fish, Shirley would spend time with other wives and the kids were pretty much on their own to make their own pleasure in all the dirt and lack of entertainment for their ages. Floyds' attitude: "it is MY vacation, and I will do what 'I' want. And so he did.
It always bothered me back then, and strange how now it still tugs at my heart strings to think back on how those kids would talk to Paul about our vacations and wish they had been able to do something like that. It was such a bore going down to Mexico and wait around while thier folks enjoyed their friends and the kids just had to fen for themselves. The nights weren't a whole lot better. The grown ups would get their beer and cigaretts and set around till late talking and laughing while the kids just waited around for the time to turn in.
I am so greatful that as parents, Jay and I felt our children were important enough to see they enjoyed their vacations as a family. In fact it warms my heart to hear them tell about the times we had at Paradise Point. We had camped before we got the boat, but the kids rarely talked about those trips. It was the camping and water sport that still burns bright in their memories. Something a parent can only hope they have given their children, while they were young.
You know it isn't a lot of the things we think as adults that will make the biggest impression on our children. It usually will be those simple things we have done, almost without thinking, that will be remembered with such happiness in later years.
I was always impressed with the way the Grand Children found fun in such things as well. Maybe not the same way our children did, but in ways that bring back good memories now. Then to see Grand Children follow in similar fashion so that the Great Grand Children will have rich memories. Something that money could never buy. Youth is such a very special time. Parents can make childhood memorable in such simple ways. When I go to the ball games of my Great Grand Children and see my Grand Children taking the time to make memories that will last, well, it just is such a great joy for me. It reminds me of a Primary Song, "Love is spoken here". And so it is, in such a very profound way. Almost un-noticed as it is happening, but as the years roll by, the memories will be recalled time and time again with such love and appreciation - well - you just cannot imagine how or why.
If I had not have had the experience with Floyd, I would not have really known what it is like to look back with such affection on the past. Jay did not have such great memories. His family had to work just to keep the family together. Vacations were trips to Utah to spend with one of the Aunts or Uncles families. Entirely different. This was rural living compared to city life style. Home cooking right out of the garden or off the hills from hunting or streams and lakes from fishing. Jay would have to work along with the other kids during part of the time and then they would have time to swim in some near by watering hole, or take their make shift fishing poles and go to the stream or lake near town. It certainly wasn't high tech, but it was such a change from the regular routine of city life, it was a different kind of fun, and Jay made the most of every moment. He couldn't duplicate it for his kids, but he made up the very best substitue for fun he could think of in the time the kids were younger. It took a lot of financial planning for him to put things together, and only those of us who knew what a stickler he was about such things appreciate the time and energy he put into it. Of course the Mom had to do her share of meal planning and packing, but as Keara and I agree, camp cooking is the most fun. Meals weren't fancy, but they fit the time and place, and there was always ample to fill the hungry with plenty of snacks to take care of the in between times as well.
It never hurts to make the simple times we have together memorable. It does, however, take some thought. Not always will the big things make the biggest impression either. Times change, and ability to do may vary, but there is always something out there that will bring about a great family treat for everyone. Jay never minded the financial end of his projects, I never minded the food planning, packing, or prepartion of the minor details. It was fun being together, and seeing everyone relax and enjoy themselves. In my mind I can still see Jay with his swim trunks, tee shirt and hat with the back shade to protect his neck. Climb in the boat and drape a towel over his legs to keep the sun off his 'white' skin. He didn't want another sunburn like the one that nearly killed him. Once was quite enough of that, thank you! He would stay out in the boat dragging the kids behind him as long as the gas held out, or he got hungry. Wonderful memories of a Dad who thought his family was worth the time and effort in seeing they had a great vacation.
It pleases me to see the fathers in the family today follow somewhat in his footsteps. Pres. McKay rightly taught us: "nothing will ever compensate for failure in the home". Youth translates into adulthood quite rapidly and when youth has been spent, it is only the things we have bought with that time that will pay the dividends. Through the hard times of my own youth, it was those picnics and camping trips that stand out in my mind. Not the Christmas that had little, or the fact we didn't have a great many things. We had our imaginations and our desire to 'make' fun out of what we did have. Skates made into scooters, canned milk cans made into stilts. For the girls it was old sheets and bed blankets that formed our 'play houses' and apple boxes and orange crates that made our furniture. Everyone brought a donation to the one house we were able to make in the neighborhood. No fussing over who had brought what. It was a castle. There was a large box that had been filled with old dresses, hats, purses and high heels. Oh, how we could dress up and have 'tea
parties'. Elegant ladies entertaining friends in our 'castle'. Nothing better could have filled our daylight hours than that. What a sad day, when at the end of summer, we had to take it all down and get ready for the winter and school.
Make your memories and be sure to include the things that stick. There is nothing better than being able to set back and recall some very special time with friends and family that warm the heart and maybe even bring a tear or two. Life is wonderful and is made more wonderful when it includes those times when everyone is doing something together that they love to do. Sharing time with family is the choicest time we will ever have. Never sell short those times. Plan and prepare as if it were the most important time of your life - you see, it will turn out, it was!
Written this 7th day of July 2010
by: Eileen Rosenberg
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