I have already written about my meeting the "man of my dreams".
Only he wasn't when we met. Like almost every one, I liked what
I saw, but was not at all sure HE was the RIGHT one for me.
It was the time we spent together that made the choice the RIGHT
ONE.
What did he look like? Well, when he was working, he wore the
UNIFORM of any workman. He had tan shirts and pants that
were taken by the laundry and replaced each week. I think Jay
had that kind of work clothes the entire time he worked in the
shops. I never did work clothes for him, nor did his Mother that
I am aware of. When he went to driving his own Redi Mix Truck
he started out with the same thing, but ended up with jeans and
plaid shirts. Oh! that is a story in itself. I will get to it.
When Jay wasn't working he always had on gaberdine slacks,
usually tan in color and a white shirt, well starched with the cuffs
rolled up. Wing tip shoes, well polished. I rarely saw him with
a jacket. He had beautiful wavey hair. He needed glasses but
rarely wore them - too proud. He was always on time, and he
appreciated the fact that I was as well.
He took me home to meet his Mother. That was an experience
I will never forget. When we came into the house Uncle Doc
ran from the living room and slammed the door to his bedroom
as he disappeared behind it. Jays Mother was setting on a chair
so stiff I thought she might break. She didn't say much. I felt a
bit uncomfortable and was greatful we didn't stay long. I learned
then, that was the Harris side of the family. As stated before
I had known Slim or Dad for sometime, and he was not like that
at all. All the Harris family were like that. Shy, and very much
more comfortable by themselves. Aunt Jo and Aunt Trix I think
had worked more IN the public, and got over most of that.
I believe it was our second date when we went to Knotts Berry
Farm. It was not anything then like it is now. We walked around
and enjoyed the Ghost Town that was open and free. The big
thing back then was their fried chicken and berry pie that got
all the attention. We doubled with Thad Peacock and Betty Ross.
They both worked at Owens too. Thad with Jay and Betty
was my boss. They later married as well, but divorced after
some years. I remember I wore a new dress that was white
with brown and white checked ruffles. Pretty snazzey too. I
had brown suede dutch toed shoes that had a medium heel.
Jay said he knew then that he would marry me. I don't know
if it was the dress, or my personality. He said it was my
gift of gab.
Jay always worked shift work - at Owens that ment one week
days, one week swing and one week grave yard. Or was it
two weeks. Well what ever, he varied his shifts so that I would
see him either coming to work or going from work. When he
worked grave yard I would meet him in the commisary and we
would have coffee together - remember I wasn't a member of
the Church back then.
We started dating the end of January and the end of June he
was waiting for me when I put the time cards back in the racks.
He asked me what I was doing after work, I said: "nothing that
I know of". He said: "I think it is time I bought your ring". That
was my proposal. We went to the store and picked out the
rings. They were sized and ready for pick up on the 3rd of
July. To celebrate, Dad and Mom (mine) took us to see the
big fireworks display at the Los Angeles Collisium on the 4th.
We were married on the 1st of August.
During what you might call our courtship, we spent a lot of
time with Jays' friends. We were the first to get engaged and
the first to get married. Our apartment was the meeting place
for all the others until they soon followed suit. Once they
were all married, we rarely spent time with them. It could have
been the girls, or it might have just been they grew beyond
the service feeling of "sticking together".
Jay had a fabulous build and tan at that time. He was lifting
weights and doing more physical activity back then. After we
got married while he was working graveyard shift, the guys
came and took Jay with them to the beach. They went about
their activities and never paid any attention to Jay. He fell
asleep on the beach and got the last sunburn he ever had.
It was so bad that he got sick when he went to work and had
to come home. He was off work for two weeks spending
most of it on his stomach in bed. He blistered so badly, I
wondered if he wouldn't be scared. I bathed his back with
warm tea - the tanic acid was a great healing agent. I
spent hours peeling his back. Fortunately he didn't scar,
but never took his shirt off after than when he was in the
sun, and kept his neck covered as well. A real shame, as
he had always tanned so beautifully before that time.
Jay had one eyebrow that had a white patch in it. A natural
thing. It became less noticable after he grew older, but
when I first met him it was really noticable. He had the
whitest and straightest teeth. He took extra care to keep
them that way. It was a production to behold when he
combed his hair. There was a great deal of comb movement
and then that hand tapping that made me laugh. He was
not at all pleased with that, but he was so fussy with his
hair. It took him longer to get ready to go somewhere than
it did me. That reminds me of the rear vision mirror tapping.
Just a habit he had that didn't seem to do much, it was
just always something he did when he got in the car and
while he was driving as well.
Oh! I was going to tell you about the problem with the change
from white shirts that had to be starched, and if I didn't iron
them to his satisfaction, they ended back in the wash basket
to be done over. (His Mother always sent them to the laundry
but I didn't feel we could afford to have his shirts done.) When
the short sleeve plaid shirts became popular, I tried to get him
to change over to them. He refused for a long time, and then
one day, he didn't have a satisfactory white shirt available,
so he put on a plaid shirt with SHORT SLEEVES. It wasn't
all that bad. At first he tucked the tail in, but eventually he
was satisfied to leave the tail out. What a break through. I
didn't have to starch the plaid shirts and they were always
ironed to his satisfaction. What a relief!
About buying things - that too was a production. Night after
night he would sit at the kitchen table and work out on paper
all the figures. What he had, what it would cost, how he
would pay for it, how long would it take, could he fit it into the
budget? Well this would go on for weeks, even months for
some of his desired purchases.
The first new car he bought was one such production. When
he finally put the down payment on it, I felt a relief. The
night we took delivery on it we went to Mom and Dads' for
dinner. While we were setting at the dinner table it began
to rain. I thought he would break his neck getting away
from the table. When I asked where he was going, he yelled:
"my car". Before he got to the kitchen door, we were all
laughing - what could he do about it. The car would survive
a few rain drops. He stopped and turned around and smiled.
It was just such a big thing - the first NEW CAR he had
ever bought.
Jay was inventive, smart and a hard worker. He was a good
Dad. When Paul was born he took him every Saturday for
the whole day. He took him everywhere he went. I would
fix the diaper bag with all the things he would need, and
the day was then mine to do what I wanted. Mostly back
then it was doing the laundry and cleaning the apartment.
We had to wait a concider amount of time before he got
the GIRL he wanted, but the wait was worth it. They were
always the best of pals, but I can still hear him yelling for
me to come and "get this kid out of my tools". Nothing he
did was done alone if Dawn was around. She was his
shadow. I think their cooking together were some of the
best times he ever had.
When he realized that his legs were getting bad on him from
the years of working on cement floors he decided to go to
school and try for a Tool Design Engineer degree. He signed
up at Long Beach State and attended their Night Classes.
His grades were excellent. When he finished there, he was
advanced to Inspector of outgoing production. That brought
with it the Bonding as Chief Inspector for all Government
Agencies who had contracts with Kinco - the company he
worked for. He sold, then bought from himself. Quite an
honor.
His legs got worse and another change was necessary.
The figuring began again. Finally he came to me and said
he might have to morgage the house. I might have seemed
a bit hesitant because he got upset with me, which was
not normal for him. He had a temper, but rarely displayed
it, however when he did it was usually pretty apparent. I ex-
plained to him that I would support him in whatever he
wanted to do, but first I wanted him to realize if he went into
business for himself, there would be no rest. He would be busy
every day - weekends included. Jay had always been one for
planning activities for the family. We had a truck and camper -
a boat and water skiing equipment - none of this would be used.
He insisted he needed to do this. It was then I told him he could
have what ever it was we had if it would help him. With that he
went out and bought his first Redi-Mix truck and with no real
experience as a Truck Driver, he was off on what would be a long
term adventure that only ended when he retired some 30 years later.
I believe I have covered his value while being an owner operator.
It won't be necessary to go over that again. Rather I would like to tell
you that one of the things I gave him was his first computer. It
was so primitive in comparison with what we have today, that he
had to program it. He would buy magazines that had what he wanted.
He would figure out the programs he would need to do what he
wanted, then he would set at the keyboard long hours at night
putting into his weeney of a computer these long odd figured
programs that would help him keep his books and do the business
that he needed rather than doing them long hand. During the time that
he was in business I worked as well. It wasn't that we needed
the money, it was that we needed Health Insurance for us. When
I went job hunting - wage was never my concern. I was looking for
the best Insurance I could find that would take care of us should we
ever have need of it. That we did. Jay developed PAT which was an
excellerated heart beat. He had two flare ups with it. The second
one was worse than the first and he ended up in the hospital for two
weeks going through a number of tests to determine what could
be done. They apparently found what he needed, he didn't have
another attack after that. He had lots of problems but that was not
one. We moved from Pico Rivera to Taft where he worked for Hartman
Redi-Mix company. There was vertually no work in the Los Angeles
or Orange County area at that time. He with three other owner-operators
drove the length of California looking for work. On a handshake Jay
and Mac McCann were hired with their trucks for a short spell in
Taft/Bakersfield Oilfields. It turned into an 8 year job. Mac stayed
for a couple of years, but after Jay moved our family up and we moved
into our own home, he decided to try his luck back with his family -
things had become better in that area as well. When work petered out
in Taft, Jay went back to the Orange County Area where he signed
with another Broker who got work for him. He took the truck down
and started looking for a home. Dawn by then had graduated from
Taft High School, and had landed a good job with the Telephone Co.
there. It appeared she would stay in Taft. She and Pauls fiancee
Jan Nelson took over the house and I went to Anaheim, California with
Jay where we found and bought another home.
Dawn didn't stay in Taft after all. She moved to Anaheim with us and
lived with us until she and a friend took an apartment of their own.
Jay worked all over the Orange County area, again making a reputation
for himself in the trade.
One winter - the rainiest in years, Jay spent his time off by picking
up damaged furniture at the Sears Outlet in Santa Ana and bringing
it back like new. Dawn had married by then, and he was able
to help the young couple furnish the new house they bought. He did
so enjoy doing all that work. Such a satisfaction to repair or rebuild
and make something of what could have ended up as junk. Another
of his extending his abilities by taking on projects that were not in
his normal line of work. He was fortunate to have that large covered
patio to work under cover in the rain.
The kitchen at the Anaheim home was not the best. He took out the
large sliding glass door and replaced it with the window he took out
of the back bedroom. Then he opened the wall where the air condi-
tioner was and put in a regular door. He put new cabinets in and
built a special area for the large Micro Wave Oven. All in all it changed
things to a wonderful degree.
Where he had removed the window in the back bedroom he put in
the sliding glass door and walled in the covered patio so it
was turned into a setting room off the bedroom. (we understand the
Realtor who bought the place put a fireplace in one of the walls).
Jay was ready to retire by then. He was restless, but could not see
himself making another move. While I was in Atascadero on a visit
with Dawn I investigated a new building developement that was being
built in Paso Robles. I went up to talk to the people, and found it
might be worth an investment and a move for us. Jay fought the idea
but I told him not to count it out until he had looked at it. After a
long and lengthy "figuring" he decided to sell and build. The women
that came to list our house told us we would never get the money
we wanted for the place. Nothing had sold in that particular
tract in some time, and nothing for the price Jay said he needed. So
he set about painting the place inside and out. With the improvements
he had made on the inside we felt we were asking a fair price and
it was listed. It was April 15th. The lady came by and said she was
busy and would be by the next morning at 9 a.m. to place the sign
up and there would be a "walk through" with Realtors that afternoon.
We said fine. She held little hope that the walk through would gain
any interest in the property. When we came home from work there was
a group of people in the culdesac (sp) we lived in standing by their cars
talking. The listing Realtor came over to us as we got out of our cars
and asked if we could leave for a couple of hours. We left and went
out to dinner. When we came back we received a call asking if we would
allow her and another Realtor to come by. We said, sure. The Realtor
that bought the house said he had seen that tract go up, and had not
felt it was worth looking at to sell, or buy, but when he came through
and saw all the improvements that had been done to the house he was
impressed and wanted to buy the place - but not at out price. He would
give us an extra thousand dollars because he wanted to use another
lender. The house that was not sellable, sold in 12 hours for more money
than we were asking. Jay scored again!
When we were ready to build in Paso Robles a contractor friend of Jays
told him to make sure he got lean releases for every phase of the building
as we would be paying cash. Jay insisted on those lean releases and
received them. Good thing. As in the first home we had bought in Norwalk,
the contractor was using our name and our good credit to finance the rest
of his building. Of all the homes built in this area, ours was the only one
that was not bedeviled by sub contractors that needed payment for the
work they had done. What a blessing from the good work that Jay had
done for so many in the past.
I have other things I will share about Grandpa, but not at this time. He was
a very special person, and we are so blessed to have had him as the
Patriarch of our family.
written this 12th day of January 2009
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