The No's Have It!

Well I don't mean that kind of no's. Have you ever thought about your nose? Somewhere I heard: "it is as plain as the nose on your face". Yet I can't see my nose, whether it is plain or of some interesting or grotesque makeup! This I do know, my nose has seemed to become one of the most surgically interesting parts of my anatomy.
There are noses that were ment to be in other peoples business. Then there are noses that were ment to seek out the interesting and worth knowing things about us. Of course we all know about the noses that can be elevated to show a sign of superiority. Or the turned down nose that seems to hang down in depression and loneliness. There are noses that are red either from the cold, or the heat from within caused by too much drinking of a certain beverage. Noses that sneeze, those that run, some even snort when laughter is called for. No matter what the nose, they all are important and though they aren't visible to the person wearing one above their upper lip and between there eyes, they are important.
This one of mine has become of great interest, not because it is doing anything unusual, but due to a faulty tear duct that has become clogged and refuses to respond to treatment. This eye has
run so it looks as if I am crying a good part of every day. Then there are the times if fills with the most gastly icky stuff I can hardly focus. I have nearly used up a huge box of Q-Tips and a number of boxes of Kleenex keeping things under control. None of the medications, eye drops
or dabbing has brough a successful end to the problem, no it is the Nose that must pay the price
for the weak minded left eye.
After at least 7 weeks with an Opthomologist and no relief, I have been referred to a Double E,N,T Specialist for a surgical procedure to clean out the sack that normally drains the tear duct throug proper channels and replace it with a tube directly to the nose to do the job. Thus comes my poor nose in for another of those invasive procedures that present me with a week of headaches, bloody noses and a puffed up face. Sounds like fun huh?
The Dr. was most helpful in saying the swelling would be minimal and the discoloration also. I just laughed. I remember what I looked like following the first Rhino Plasti I underwent. My two eyes looked like two balls of hamburger meat. I was blind for a week, due to swelling. The only way people could tell it was me was by looking at my hands and fingernails. How about that for a quick identification?
Well I will have to admit the other 4 times weren't all that bad. It was just that cookey nose brace I had to wear for about 5 weeks to protect the implants they had put in my nose to make it look fashionable. Did I ever tell you that I have had an original nose followed by a different look everytime they redid the "last one". Jay used to tell everyone he had five different wives and only been married once. Like they told me, plastic surgery is usually elective. We give you a chart of noses and you pick out the one you would like. With me it was "pot luck". You get what the insurance company paid for.
The first look was like a ski shoot. Nothing at the bridge, but a neat upturn on the end. They had put the inplant on the wrong end. Ninty days later I returned and they did a nice job, but it was far from what I had been born with. Apparently my body didn't think that much of it either. It absorbed the material implanted and the nose began to droop. Back again and they tried something else. Again within time the nose began to take on a weird look. Silicon had come on the market and Dr. Harcourt was really thinking about using it, but after some further study he did not think it was such a good idea to put such an untested material that close to my brain, so he went with getting bone from my face and mixing with a proven apoxy and making an
implant to reshape the nose bridge and tip. It looked find, but was not more successful with my system. The last try was in 1965. It was the most extensive of the surgeries, and I swore it would never let them have another chance. They had removed all the bone from my face they could this time. If another surgery was necessary, bone would have to be taken from my thigh, which ment double whacking. The Lord loved me. The implant has lasted. I notice it
isn't as full as once it was, but it holds my glasses up and I can still breath through it so, what the heck, who needs a "new look". One of the nostrils kept sagging so they made a splint of ex-ray film and I wore that triangle in my nose for weeks until everything set up and of course the aluminum nose brace. I was some looker. If I can find the pictures, I will put them on the blog
so you can have a good laugh.
You might pray with me that when they go in this time - for the eye - they don't find a problem that will send us back to the drawing board for a new "nose job". Believe me at 80 I don't care if I am all that attractive. Who looks at this little old fat lady anyway?
Dr. explained they use to cut along the side of the nose and go in that way, but the results were not good, and left a scar. SOOOO! This new method was developed, and it has been the most successful of all. That is not to say they have not had to repeat the procedure on some patients. I know, I know, my batting average hasn't been all that super, but then I didn't have the support team then that I have now. I am counting on you guys in blog land to pull your stings for this old girl and help her get this one under her oversized belt with ease. After all you wouldn't want me to scare Santa Claus would you?
Now you know all about noses. They don't get in the way, block our vision or slow us down. Take them or leave them, we would have a difficult time getting along without them. Just remember on Grandma it is the most expensive part of her body, and must be protected at all cost. You see, if it should get broken, it can't be fixed. Thats one of the rules. Once the bone it started with, it is not replaceable. There may be "flathead" indians, but who in the world has ever heard of or want a "flatnosed" Grandma - think about that!

Written this 4 day of August 2009
by Eileen Rosenberg - one for the nose!