Second Time Around

Jays parents: Thomas Gower Rosenberg (Slim) and Itha Harris were divorced in 1948.
They split up on Jay and Charmaines' first Wedding Anniversary.
My parents: John Charles Smith and Edith Annie Hall were separated by death
in 1955. And thus the story begins.
In June and July Slim (Dad) had been hospitalized for a kidney ailment. He was in
French Hospital in Los Angeles. John and Edith went to visit him during this time.
Slim had become a regular at family get together following his divorce from Itha (Ike).
A friendship grew between these parents as they shared their children namely:
Jay and Charmaine.
Slim was released from the hospital just a few days before the accident that took the
life of John Smith. He was still not well enough to be home alone, so he came to
our house to get well. When the call came telling us of the accident, it was necessary
to move Slim to his daughters, Afton Cowles, in Bell. Jay and I were on the go with
visiting Mom in the Hospital in Lompoc, CA and making funeral arrangments for John.
When Mom was able to be released from the Hospital in Lompoc, she came to be
cared for at our house. (The training I had learned as a Home Health Aide at Taft
Community College was being well used).
Mom stayed with us for some time. Slim would come to visit to see how she was
coming along. When we was able to return to her own home, he came to see if he
could help her in any way. He had an apartment in Bell and drove close to the
house on his way to and from work. He would take Edith grocery shopping and to
do small errands. After some time he asked her to go to a show, or to the horse
races with him. They attended parties at Owens-Illinois Glass Co. where Slim
worked. After about a year, Slim asked Edith to marry him, but she didn't feel as
if she was ready for an attachment at that time.
After three years of their dating and becoming closer, Slim asked Edith to go with
him to Utah to meet his brothers and sisters. She thought it would be fine, and
they planned a two week trip. Edith was greeted by the Rosenberg family with
love and family fun. The two weeks were just great. Mom had found a family she
could fit into. I don't think she had realized how much she had missed her own
family in Ohio.
Just about the time the vacation was to come to a close the subject of marriage
was brought up by one of Slims' sisters. The couple got along so well, liked
the same things, etc. Why not get married? Slim said he had asked and had
suggested it was silly for them to keep two homes going when they were on the
go together so much. The time was apparently right, Slim contacted Jay and
asked for the hand of Edith in marriage. I don't know why he thought Jay had
the right to give it, but the family had become so knit together I guess he felt
good about asking Jay.
Slim went down to the jewelry store in Cedar City and bought a set of rings for
Edith. The family caravaned to Las Vegas for the Wedding. After a party with
everyone in Las Vegas, the family returned to Utah and the Newly Weds came
back to California. The vacation was over and the Honeymoon began.
A reception was held at the Belgrave home, and a very happy set of families
were joined together. When we had family holidays there after it was always
the Smith and Rosenberg clans that gathered.
I guess the length of time the folks had gone together gave both sides time to
get use to the idea. Everyone got along, there was no problems among the
children or grand children. It was just a continuation of life as they had known
it for some time.
For Jay and I it made for a few laughs. We always said when we called each
other Brother and Sister we ment it. I had a Mother and a Mother-in-law all
in one. Jay ended up with a Mother-in-law and Step Mother. Well you get
the idea.
Edith and Slim were married about 10 years when he began to show signs of
dementia. I went down to help her with him for awhile. He would wander off
and get lost. We feared for his safety so arranged for him to go into a care
facility. He didn't do much better there. He wandered particularly at night.
How he could get out of the confinment they had him in, no one could figure
out.
One night Slim got away from the center in his night clothes and wandered
up the street. He must have been looking for his home. He tried some
door nobs, or at least we thought that is what he had done. He entered
an apartment of a young couple who were asleep. He was standing at the
foot of their bed, not doing anything, just standing there. The young man
woke up and saw him there and asked him what he thought he was doing?
Slim told him he wanted to go to bed. He was so lost, and confused the
couple figured out where he must have come from, so got dressed and
took him back. He was fortunate he didn't get beat up.
One day Willetta was up town shopping and came out of a store and found
Slim standing on the corner waiting for the light to change. She went over and
asked him what he was doing there. He told her he didn't know. She asked
him if he would like her to take him home. He agreed to let her. She took
him back to the center where he lived, it was just a few blocks away. They
had been looking for him, but had no idea how he had got away from them.
It was about this same time Mom got a call that they needed to talk with her.
She went up and they told her the State Law required that Slim have a chest
x-ray before he was admitted. His showed he had a spot on his left lung. He
needed to see a Doctor. We made an appointment with a Chest Specialist
and took him to be examined.
Following the examination the Doctor told us that Slim had cancer. Mom said
she would try and get him into a VA Hospital for treatment, but the Doctor said
she would not have time for that. She insisted that would be the best
possible way to handle it, but the Doctor again, more strongly stated: "there
isn't enough time for that!" He had him admitted into a hospital for the care of
advanced cancer patients in Lynwood, CA. He was only there a short time.
One morning I called Mom and asked her to be ready I would pick her up at
around 10 a.m. She asked for what? I replied: "I think you know". We went
to Halversons' Funeral Home and made pre-need arrangments for Slim. The
Director complimented us in being so thoughtful in such a difficult time. We
set all the papers in order and left feeling gratified that we had done the right
thing. Slim passed away 11 days later. Mom had only to make one phone
call. Jay and I had property at Rose Hills Memorial Park in Whittier. We
called and made arrangements for burial in one of the plots we had there.
The cancer Slim had was "star burst". When the cells break away, they scatter
throughout the body. This was the cause of his dementia. One such cell had
gone to the sensor part of his brain. We were greatful for the knowledge that
it ment he did not suffer any pain from the advanced condition he was in.
Edith said she was sorry she had not accepted Slims first proposal because
she felt they had wasted three years that they could have enjoyed together.
They had such a good marriage.
written this 4th day of February 2009