Things I Remember

These may not to apply to others, but they have been important in my life
and I set here today to share them with those who may take the time to
set where they are and read them.
I Remember a Dad who was raised without his mother and had a step-mother
that was not as kind to him as she ought to have been. It could have been
because she was jealous because she was never able to have any children of
her own? She spent her time doing for and loving her nieces and newphews.
Taking money that Dad had earned while he was young and spending it on her
families kids. Once Dad found a $20.00 bill while working in a field. When he
came home with his prize, Carrie promptly took it from him. He had hoped to
buy something for himself with part of it and give his parents the rest. He didn't
realize a thing from his find. With all of that, I never heard him say a bad thing
about his step-mother. When his father passed away, Dad took her into our
home to care for her until she passed away. Her health became so poor that it
was more than Mom could to to care for her and the rest of the family so Dad found
a place that could give her the care she needed. We visited her regularly, even
though she did'nt remember any of us any longer. He never forgot his respon-
sibility to his parents.
I remember a Mother who was raised without a Dad. She mourned that loss in
a way I don't think any of her siblings knew about. She said more than once that
"I never had a Dad and everyone else did". Because she was the youngest of the
family you would have thought that she was spoiled, purhaps in some ways she
was, but from her earliest memories she was told, "now don't you cry it will upset
Mom". Edith couldn't cry - to do so was painful because she had held her tears
back for so many years. She never developed an "I" complex. She learned at
a young age, "if you can't pay for it, don't buy it". This because she once bought
a white coat on credit and the first time she wore it she was riding in an open
"touring car". While on the ride a car came by and splash oil and mud from the
road on the coat. It was ruined and she could never wear it again, but she had to
pay for it over a long period of time. Money was hard come by and she had a very
"tight fist". It made her a good household manager during the "depression". She
learned to fix it, repair it, make it, or do without it. Her children were raised with
the addage she had learned at home "it was always clean, and it was paid for".
She was a good seamstress. Though we lived in California and her family was yet
in Ohio, she never forgot her Mother on her birthday or other holidays when mothers
were honored. She saved so she could buy nice things. When she was a child
she remembered buying things for five cents at Christmas for her Mother and wished
she could have done better. Early memories kept her close to the things she had
learned. Prosperity did not change her much. She would scold Dad for buying so
many nice things for her, but he too had learned early that those you truly love need
to be remembered in special ways.
My Dad, John Smith, came to this country when he was young but never had to
apply for citizen ship because his father Charles Smith had become a naturalized
citizen while John was still young, so he was included in that citizenship. Being an
American Citizen ment a lot to Dad. He taught his family the right to vote was a
very sacred thing, and should be exercised as opportunity presented itself. He warned
us that we should be very careful who we voted for, that we should learn all we could
about each candidate and not vote because of Party affiliation, but vote because the
person was honest and would do what he was elected to do. Of course this was in
the days of Newspapers and Radio. When you hardly ever saw the candidates in
person, so you had to do much more studying. Our generation grew up seeing that
kind of investigation dropped due to coverage on television when we saw way too much
of the candidates, but learned far less about them until after they were elected.
I remember Dad telling me when they voted in Income Taxes that was the worse thing
that could happen to the citizens of this country - once the Government was allowed
to put their hand in the pockets of every workinig citizen they would never be able
to pull it out. He was right!
Each of us kids were told the cardinal rule of the house. You have been taught right
from wrong under this roof. When you leave this house you know what is expected of
you. Should you decide to do anything that varies from what you have been taught
and it leads to you getting into trouble - you found the way into it, so you had better
get yourself out of it - don't call home for assistance. We knew he ment it! We had
so much respect for our parents that we tried always to make them proud of us. If
we failed them, it was more difficult for us than for them.
Education was always stressed. Each of us was offered a college education, but all
three of us chose professions that did not require that. It may have been because we
were educated at a school where full training in a trade was offered. Each of us took
advantage of the classes that helped us become qualified to earn a good living from
what we learned at Huntington Park High School. Ralph and Ronald worked in the
School Print Shop and became Printers - which was a good trade in those days. I
was interested in Business Machines and Clearical classes. Then they had Book-
keeping Machines and Marchant Calculators that were manually operated as well as
Comptometers. These have all gone by the wayside with Computers and 10 Key
adding machines. Computers came along too, far into my "senior years" but I have
mastered the 10 Key with great skill I might add.
A most important thing that I learned from my parents was to do when you have the
opportunity. Not only to learn, to do, or to participate, but to love and to express that
love. I witnessed a Mother feed many hungry men at our back door, even when we
had spare supplies in our home. I never saw her turn a hungry soul away. Dad was
always there for his friends. Support, assistance in moving, or reparing something
that needed the special talents Dad had. I have heard him say many times "if you do
for a person while they are living, you have no need to cry over them when they have
passed away." A very valuable lesson.
I have tried to live by the things my parents taught me. I hope I have been an example
of their teachings and worthy of their faith and trust in me. The night before they left
on that last trip I begged Dad to wait just one day so that Paul and I could join them,
but he was very set about when he would leave and said: "No, you are not meant to
go with us this time." I have wondered if he had foreknowledge of the outcome of that
trip to Santa Cruz? One day I will know, but for now, I remember parents who were
worthy of my respect and deep affection. Two people who had known how valuable
family is and who tried in everyway possible to pass that knowledge on to the three of
their children.
Written this 2nd day of February 2009.