This morning I got an e-mail from one of my Mission Friends. She was just notified her eldest child had passed away in his sleep. Which is the way most of us would like to go, but it does not do much for those who are left behind.
This Lady is a very special person. One who made my Mission experience all the more rich because of the time we spend together, and the things I learned from her. I feel her loss very deeply. Not because I knew the son, but because I know her so well. How I wish I could do something for her, or even with her, but she lives a 9 hour drive away from where I am at present. They tell us that a day makes a difference, but in this case a mile is just too darn far for my liking.
Which brings to mind the fact we never know when such events will crawl unexpectedly into our everyday lives. Or what they may bring that we must deal with when they do. That in no way, however means we are able to assimilate all that such things bring. Who can think contructively while dealing with the loss of someone loved so dearly?
One of our Bishops just lost his Dad this past week, and we see on TV the passing of some famous person. Each touches our lives in someway. I recall the morning after my Dad was killed in an auto accident. The thought passed through my mind: "but the sun still came up on time".
Nothing stands still when these things happen. Life continues on in its ordinary way. However we may be effected, the things around us stay everlastingly "the same way". This can be a bit
troublesome at the time, we just have to realize that "this is life".
I'm not sure this is the time, or the place, but it seems so right to have feelings such as I am having this morning come spilling out. I am so greatful for Barbara and her friendship, for her
beautful spirit and her willingness to "hang in" when the going gets tough. This isn't her first loss. She was widowed some years ago followed by the loss of her youngest son. I am not all that sure she has completely recovered from either of these losses, but she has such a positive attitude. Has filled 5 Mission in the Family History Mission is Salt Lake City. What a good neighbor. She takes her Ward Sisters who need a ride to and from the Doctor or Market when they need her. She plants a garden in the Spring and when the harvest time rolls around she is always picking and carrying the fresh vegetables to Church on Sunday to share with the Ward
Members. Her abundant gleaning of Zucini are made into loaves of delicious bread which she
freezes and then doles out during the year to those who "love it so". Having Barbara as a friend is certainly one of lifes rich blessings.
We share many things, Barbara and I. Yet I would like to be more like her in many ways. It would be nice to know that I had touched people as abundantly as she has. Been as thoughtful and willing to share as she does. Everyone has their place. Then I must be happy with what I am and how I am seen by others. One never really sees themselves as others do. Most certainly they are never seen as they see themselves. With a quick note, we are always much harder on ourselves than anyone else. Barbara is constantly afraid she hasn't done all she could have to bring her boys back into activity in the Church. She frets over the Grand Children and how they are being raised. The family could not have a more perfect example of what she wants than what she is. They know how faithful she is, they know she wants them to come to Church, but they have their agency, and it is taking them on a different path.
Barbara feels so alone, and yet she is surrounded by so many who love her and care about her. That old saying, though not so nice, "no one can hurt you like your own family", is true. In many cases they are not even aware of it.
Well, I have talked about my dear friend. Nothing would please me more than to be able to set with her awhile today and cry with her. I remember how much that ment to me when someone thought enough of me to set with me and cry when my father-in-law passed away. They didn't come to talk, just set quietly and cry with me. It was so touching. Someone cared about the hurt that I was feeling. Knowing words really don't help, and "Sorry" becomes the most useless word in the English language at such a time. I avoid saying it, myself. I have found there are many times when words can never do what a few tears can. Reasoning with a heart that is tender is such a waste. Maybe that was why the Lord stooped to write in the sand when the mob was crying "stone her" to the women who they were accusing of adultry. He never looked at her, he never condemed her. When the mob had gone away He simply told her to go her way and sin no more. He didn't preach to her, He just counseled her and let her go to do as she would. I am sure the Savior has his comforting arms around Barbara today. I am sure he is crying with her as well. I know I am.
I have a wonderful friend, her name is Barbara Hoopes. She lives in Arizona and has just lost one of her beloved children. I wish I could be with her today. I wish I could help her with her
loss, but I cannot. I am greatful for her and what she has brought into my life. I can only hope that I have been as much a friend to her as she has been to me.
Written this 24th day of July 2009
by: Eileen Rosenberg
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