As I set here thinking over the past, I realize that has not always been my priority. It appears that in so many instances of my life I have gone "full spead ahead". There is no question in my mind that this has been an expensive waste. This, it appears, has been caused by my anxious drive to keep things moving smoothly and making sure everyone has a good time. In retrospect my rush has ment I missed an awful lot. Well, we can't turn back the clock and those opportunities are gone and few lay ahead to make up for the oversight. Crying over spilt milk is a bigger waste of time. What is left then is the hope to warn others in the path to "slow down" don't let the opportunities to enjoy things as they are happening get lost in the shuffle of everyday living.
As mothers particularly we have the attitude things need to get done. That they do, but not at the expense of missing out on some really very special occasions. You know I have always had a great interest in the things the kids do. In fact that was the major reason we sold out and moved up to the Central Coast. As I look back on it now, I realize I have never heard one of my Grand Children give a talk in Church. I don't recall ever hearing my Adult Children bear their testimony. All of these missed opportunities have been because I made the choice to live in a Ward other than where they were. The effect I hoped to achieve was to let them have their family without Grandma under foot. I guess I have been successful, for years no one even knew that I was Grandma. Guess it has turned out to be one of those: "be careful what you wish for" cituations.
A couple of months ago I was early to my Ward and just happened to stand in the open door way and hear Brenae and Jedediah bear their testimonies. What a thrill that was. They didn't know I was there which made it even more sweet. Putting the shoe on the other foot, I don't believe they have ever heard me bear my testimony. Not to worry, I believe in these Blogs I have done plenty of that.
One of the most hurry up and miss the best of the time was when I took Jay on that Alaskan Cruise. He was not able to do a lot of the moving and shaking. With so much luggage to get gathered up and ready to move to the next point pretty well wore me down. It seemed as if the packing and unpacking, moving, gathering and securing was about all I recall of the trip. A shame really, because it was ment to give us time to enjoy things together. He spent most of his time in the Cabin, and me wandering around the ship alone trying to find things to fill the time. Neither of us benefited much from the experience.
On many of the camping trips we took as a family I recall mainly the hussel of getting packed up and food prepared for our comfort while away. I am not sure I kicked back as much as I could have to really enjoy the things being done. So my advice to slow down is in hopes those who have the chance to do those things today will: "slow down and enjoy the time with the family". I can testify those days will be few and far between and never recaptured. We sure had some great times. We made some pretty wonderful memories along the way as well. The great thing is the kids recall them with such pleasure. The time was not wasted, just the gleaning of sweeter memories missed by allowing the hussel and bussel to strip the gathering of fun from duty. They are both available. For some reason I missed learning that.
Not "grumping" just reflecting on some pretty important thoughts. What is important today may not even matter tomorrow, infact, it may not even cross our mind. Silly huh?
Well I guess that is just how things are. It is foolish to look back on things that cannot be changed. Better to just keep trudging forward and taking advantage of the things that are happening everyday. Like the song from the movie: "Flower Drum Song" A Hundred Million Miracles Are Happening Everyday. We can't catch them all, but we should be able to take advantage of the better part of the best. Never let even the smallest opportunity pass you by. The Lord wisely gave us one day at a time to fill with as much love and joy as we can pack into it. Wasting time by wishing things were different won't capture the majesty of "time". Only what "we" put into it will make things the way "we" want them to be. Happiness is not a destination, or so I have read, it is about as much as we will allow to come into our lives by our
own effort. Try as I might, I cannot make anyone else Happy. I may influence a short span of time in any given day, but it will not expand on its' own. Come to think of it, neither will I. Take time to smell the roses. Their blooming season is not all that long. Their lasting power may be captured, but the fragrance will never linger with the same intensity once the peak is past. Not without some special care to preserve it.
I'm greatful for memories. Like the fragrance of the rose, they return to mind with such sweetness. They never return with the intensity as they were made, but with enough lingering essence that they are always warming and lovely. We never have too many; and we can never make enough, of that I am sure.
Written this 20 day of January, 2010
by: Eileen Rosenberg
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